“Isn’t it weird that [thing humans commonly eat] is poisonous to literally every domesticated animal” I mean, there’s a pretty good chance that [thing humans commonly eat] is at least mildly poisonous to humans, too. One of our quirks as a species is that we think our food is bland if it doesn’t have enough poison in it.
Humans have a really weird mix of mundane superpowers.
We’re not fast and don’t have a lot of natural weaponry but we’re bizarrely tolerant to a broad range of toxins to the point that one toxin is considered a morning necessity for some to perform at work. Gotta love us.
Hearing them get so excited over the whale fall is so fun I love hearing people who are passionate about their work
Fascinating to see how low energy this ecosystem is. This is the greatest bounty these animals will probably see in their lives, and they’re sleepily shuffling toward it, because their body literally lacks the energy to move any faster than that. To them it probably feels like breakneck speed.
I would like to apologize to polo shirts for not appreciating them sooner
Do they look good? Not usually. Do they feel good? Occasionally. Do they communicate “chill out bro I only just work here?” Absolutely. And sometimes that’s what an employer needs to hear
I’m not even going to button the top button. Physically I may be in this cubicle but mentally I am enjoying a tropical drink on the beach. I am responding to your unnecessary email with nothing but cool ocean breeze. If you have any problems you can swing by my desk with another tropical drink and maybe I will consider doing analysis on that spreadsheet you sent to me in jpeg format. Maybe.
Who the fuck jpegs a spreadsheet
Would you believe me if I said “people employed by the federal government”
Unfortunately
HOW the fuck do you jpeg a spreadsheet?
🙃
oh honey..
you would not believe how many times i got those from middle-aged sales people…
I once needed a customer to fill out some information in an excel file and his plan, which I just barely called him in time to stop him from executing, was to
print out the blank excel template on paper
hand-write some 100 rows or so of information, with a pencil (he said he did not have a pen)
fax it back to me
in the end i had to make him read his info aloud so i could enter it for him
I had a client whose process for providing user interface feedback was as follows:
1. Bring the relevant screen up on their desktop computer.
2. Take a photo of their desktop computer’s monitor with their cell phone camera.
3. Transfer the cell phone photo back to their desktop computer, and paste it into a Microsoft Word document.
4. Export the Word document to a PDF.*
5. Print the PDF out on paper.
6. Mark up the printout in pen with their comments.
7. Feed the printout through a document scanner, set to output the result as a PDF.
8. Email me that PDF.
* Yes, they specifically exported the Word document to PDF before printing rather than printing the Word document directly. No, I did not ask why.
Not many people talk about how deep emotional neglect hurts you.
I’m afraid to want things. I’m afraid to ask for help. I’m afraid to tell someone something if they seem in a bad mood. I can’t process when someone is nice to me. I can’t handle rejection, but my brain literally short circuits if someone gives me a compliment to the point where sometimes the rejection is better.
There are lots of overlap with emotional abuse, but emotional neglect hurts just as much. And it’s even worse that it usually goes undetected, so a lot of people can’t tell they’re being neglected until it’s too late.
Image: A picture of a T-rex is the bottom right corner firing a laser at the top left corner on a trans flag. Text appears in purple, red, ans blue and in different fonts. It reads:
It’s not sexual to exist.
[ PT: Stop flagging us for saying “trans”. /End PT ]
[“When the truth came to me, slipped into my house in its white robes, its face open as my face, its heart obvious and trusting, I stood calmly in the front hall and did not move to bar the door.
When the truth laid its cool hand on my sleeve and said, Come with me, it’s time, I went quietly. She led me into the past, through the backyards I once knew, bedrooms and kitchens; we sat in my father’s car and talked.
I was shivering in my thin skin and crying readily by this time: terrified, furious. She offered her own consolation— no false pats on the hand and no shoulder to lean on, I had to learn to stand upright or bend on my own. In her clear voice the truth offered all she has to give us: Herself, and the stern comfort of belonging to this world.”]
I know people on tumblr looove stories of underwater cave diving, but I haven’t seen anyone talk about nitrogen narcosis aka “raptures of the deep”
basically when you want to get your advanced scuba certification (allowing you to go more than 60 feet deep) you have to undergo a very specific test: your instructor takes you down past the 60+ foot threshold, and she brings a little underwater white board with her.
she writes a very basic math problem on that board. 6 + 15. she shows it to you, and you have to solve it.
if you can solve it, you’re good. that is the hardest part of the test.
because here’s what happens: there is a subset of people, and we have no real idea why this happens only to them, who lose their minds at depth. they’re not dying, they’re not running out of oxygen, they just completely lose their sense of identity when deep in the sea.
a woman on a dive my instructor led once vanished during the course of the excursion. they were diving near this dropoff point, beyond which the depth exceeded 60 feet and he’d told them not to go down that way. the instructor made his way over to look for her and found a guy sitting at the edge of the dropoff (an underwater cliff situation) just staring down into the dark. the guy is okay, but he’s at the threshold, spacing out, and mentally difficult to reach. they try to communicate, and finally the guy just points down into the dark, knowing he can’t go down there, but he saw the woman go.
instructor is deep water certified and he goes down. he shines his light into the dark, down onto the seafloor which is at 90 feet below the surface. he sees the woman, her arms locked to her sides, moving like a fish, swimming furiously in circles in the pitch black.
she is hard to catch but he stops her and checks her remaining oxygen: she is almost out, on account of swimming a marathon for absolutely no reason. he is able to drag her back up, get her to a stable depth to decompress, and bring her to the surface safely.
when their masks are off and he finally asks her what happened, and why was she swimming like that, she says she fully, 100% believed she was a mermaid, had always been a mermaid, and something was hunting her in the dark 👍
![[ Cueball and a White Hat are walking, Cueball holds both hands in front of him palms up.] Cueball: The great thing about digital data is that it never degrades. [They walk on in the next panel which shows jpeg compression artifacts, as if the image had been converted from png format to a lossy jpeg format.] Cueball: Hard drives fail, of course, but their bits can be copied forever without loss. [They continue walking in the third panel which is now clearly pixelated, the white is slightly discolored, and it contains part of the interface of some program, probably supposed to be a screen shot from a smartphone. At the bottom there are three blue buttons and one gray. the first is a blue "" that is not active. And then three more standard buttons in blue to the right of those two. The interface matches that of an iPhone running Safari in iOS 9 (or other versions with the same Safari UI (probably iOS 7-9))] Cueball: Film degrades, paint cracks, but a copy of a century-old data file is identical to the original. [Still walking, now Cueball holds out both arms to the sides, and finally White Hat replies. This panel is heavily pixelated and discolored and has a distorted aspect ratio. It contains a clear watermark of 9GAG (although difficult to read all letters in the end of the first word), even more 'frame' elements, and text above the image at the bottom (where the last letter is obscured by the frame of the image). There is also an internet address at the bottom left, but it is not readable except for the .tumblr.com ending. In this panel it is clear that it is a screen shot from a smart phone. The frame around the image obscure the very top of Cueball's text and the half of the last letter in White Hat's reply.] Cueball: If humanity has a permanent record, we are the first generation in it. White Hat: Amazing Watermark: Screenshotpro 2 Watermark: ~Unregistered~ Top border: Verizon LTE 4:45 PM Bottom text [slightly cut off]: 9GAG Internet address at the bottom [nearly unintelligible]: [ama].tumblr.com](https://64.media.tumblr.com/9458179c35f1ac691604195ef4a00e93/c47b00b56b8c7943-1e/s500x750/bd4225e7eb8979fda14a97ef5cff2a1a62598919.png)
